How to Make Small Talk (…& Avoid Awkward Silences)

Hey,
So we’ve all been there. You’re having a conversation, just starting to get to know someone who you think would be cool to hang out with, and all of a sudden: BLANK. Nothing to say.
You stand there for a moment, watching as your young friendship dies long before its time. Eventually one or both of you politely excuse yourselves, leaving going, “Ah, WHAT HAPPENED!? I blanked… again.”

How to make small talk (& avoid awkward silence) is THE question to address in getting to know people so you can get past the first stages of “getting to know you” and into the “comfortable and fun” stages of friendship.
So, what’s the secret?

Two steps to avoid awkward silence:
1. Remember what THEY SAY.
2. Ask them open-ended questions ABOUT WHAT THEY SAY.

That’s right. It’s that simple I’ll say it again… Remember what they say & ask them open-ended questions about what they say.

The key is to not focus upon you, but to FOCUS UPON THEM.

The psychology behind this is simple:
I pay attention to people I like.
I like people who like me.
If you remember what I say and ask questions about it, you must like me.
Therefore if you remember what I say and ask me questions about it, I’m going to like you.

So, the next time you’re having a conversation and want to avoid awkward silence, simply stop worrying about if the person likes you or not, and do what will have them like you… remember what they say, and ask them open-ended questions about it.

(NOTE: Open ended questions are not yes/no but instead ask them to give you a unique answer that gives you information about them. The W’s WHAT WHY & HOW are great indications of open-ended questions, as are phrases that ask for more information).

Here’s an example:

You’re introduced to a friend’s friend at a party.

YOU: What did you do last weekend?
THEM: Went camping in the mountains.
YOU: Camping, cool! Tell me about it?
THEM: (They then happily talk about this cool thing they did & you make a sweet new friend).

Easy, right!? Notice that the questions were open ended.

Once you hit upon a topic you’d like to hear more about, simply ask them the open ended questions “tell me about it” or “tell me more about that”. These questions (that focus upon THEM, and show them that you like them) are gold and are the answer to the universal quest on how to make small talk and avoid awkward silence in conversation.
Now there’s more to creating lasting friendships than just a couple of questions, but trust me these will get you far if you know how to use them right. That’s why I came up with a system that shows you how to overcome shyness, including how to make small talk (and avoid awkward silences).

Get your free training on how to overcome shyness here. Click HERE to let go of the pain of shyness, the social isolation, and take steps to getting one of these great jobs for shy people you really want by having the social skills to connect with people in the first place.

I look forward to working together to helping you overcome shyness as a limiting factor so you can feel confident at parties, start and deepen friendships, and have the social connections we all crave as human beings.

Your friend,
-David

(PS- Questions? Comments? Suggestions for another post? Comment below…)

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