Improve Social Skills: 3 TIPS For Eye Contact In Communication



… lots of us wonder about how much eye contact is the right amount.

When I had social anxiety I know that it was torture, wondering if I was coming across how I wanted to, if the other person would like or reject me, stuck in my own head. I’d either make too much eye contact and make the other person feel weird. Or, sometimes I’d look away and end up avoiding eye contact altogether, but then I’d give the wrong impression too… they’d think I didn’t like them, and I wouldn’t look confident. It was a lose-lose situation until I found out how to sustain the right amount of eye contact in communication with anyone and now I don’t even think about it, it just works.

With these tips you’ll be able to sustain eye contact and enjoy the conversation knowing that you’re coming across as friendly and confident. Know how to show interest in the other person without being too intense; able to put the other person at ease so you both feel comfortable. In short, mastering eye contact will help you to make friends with confidence.


3 Tips on Eyecontact in Communication:


TIP 1. YES! Eye contact.

Eye contact makes you appear friendly and confident. Maintain eye contact for about 4 seconds at a time.


TIP 2. Break eye contact.

After about 4 seconds break eye contact in communication by blinking, looking away briefly, or a combination of both (blink, as you look down, to the side, or if thinking about what they say, above, and then look back at them.)
NOTE: Avoid too big a look or they’ll think you’re not paying attention to them or looking at someone or something else. Just a small look with your eyes is enough. Mix up the way you’re breaking eye contact. A mix of blinking and looking away, with mostly blinking is great.


TIP 3. Ask for feedback.

When you’re talking with someone you know and are comfortable with (brother, sister, parents, close friend), practice eye contact and then after a few minutes let them know this is something that you’re working on and ask for their feedback. Use the question, “I am working on my eye contact and I’d just like some feedback; how was it?”

-Did they notice?
-What was the perceived effect? (AKA, what did they think/feel about you while you were maintaining and then occasionally breaking eye contact?)
-Do they have any suggestions on tweaks to help you to look more natural?

Feedback is very important because by getting feedback you’ll get an objective worldview meaning you can ensure the changes that you’re making are working in your favor. In effective non-verbal communication very small tweaks are sometimes the make-or break for social success so ask for feedback, this way you know you’re doing it right, and getting the effect you really want. Make sure you ask someone you’re comfortable with, and ask them after you’ve been chatting for a while as this will give the most natural effect.


So go out, practice your eye contact in communication, break contact occasionally, and ask for feedback to ensure social success.

Let me know how it goes for you!

Leave a comment in the comment section below…


If you want to have your question answered on how to overcome shyness or social anxiety, build more effective communication skills and make more friends, join the mailing list. You’ll not only gain access to my exclusive email and the chance to have your question answered personally, but you’ll also receive a valuable training that will jump start your progress and give you the tips to succeed. Visit:

Looking forward to hearing from you!
Your friend,



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